“Is that acknowledgement before this section or after it?”
“I am pretty sure its before this. Damn, dont have a clue. Better get out my study guide, now where did I keep that binder”
I need to lead an introduction to the Landmark Forum tomorrow. The same old conversations are resounding in the same (probably) old grey cells in my brain.
“Maybe I should just quit man. Its so inauthentic. Dude, I dont even know the smell of integrity. Ahaaa! a new Enquiry “The smell of integrity”.”
“Shutup man, you committed to this, just do as you were taught. If you work the introduction works”
“Is my life really working?”
“Its 2 Am, my baby just went to sleep crying, Wife is upset that I am not home enough, and Project at work is stuck. Yep absolutely “leading” in my life”
“You know my life sucks and I am going to tell these people to try on Landmark. Yeah right, Lets get someone on the line and cancel”
“Dude its 2Am. Just survive man! Do something and then ask for coaching… standard plan”
Introduction scheduled for 930Am on a Saturday.
“Why do these people have to be such heroes? noone will come. Anyway need to be in integrity, atleast for this.”
The night passes. I sleep peacefully, years (it seems) of integrity conversation has made me numb.
I wake in the morning to the message “Still dont have the introduction material for the guests”.
Scramble, Scramble, Scramble….frantic calls cause the introduction materials to present themselves at the appropriate time, at the appropriate place. In the meanwhile, I have got late.
Call up host and tell I will be 15 min late.
“phew integrity restored, such a cheater I am”
In the car.
“Drive, Drive, Drive…..”
“Dude that was a red light”
“Damn, need to be in Integrity, slow down and be more vigilant, you know maybe my wife is right about my driving. Lets just be present and drive.”
“Dude, you forgot the coach clearing!, call coach up”
Call coach for the clearing.
Coach: “What is the intention of the intro”
“Bla, Bla, Bla”
Coach: ” Did you do your prep?
Coach: “Dont get into your head and just be yourself and share what is so, no pretense”
“And you think people will be interested in Landmark after that” (sotto voce)
Param: “got it coach.”
Reached the venue.
Host: “I had 4 confirmations, but in-laws attacked and others had somethings to do.”
30 minutes later, we are still at 1 guest: Hosts wife who is now a little hostile (husband has been with Landmark a while). I tell husband to take part in the intro as well. Introduction Begins.
Param: “Look at areas of life that are working and not working”
Wife: “Everything is fine”
Husband: “Just my career. Everything is working fine.”
Param: “Cool, lets look at various aspects of life”
Wife,Husband: Career, Family, Money
“The standard trilogy”
Param: “Lets look at some more…”
“There is some stiffness between these two”
Son enters. Naughty kid. Very Naughty. Throws his books on the floor in the hall.
Wife: “Dont do that bolu. Pick up the things right now!”
Husband: “dont shout at him, he is just a boy”
Param: “How about relationships? with family, work, ourselves?”
Husband/Wife: “Wow we never thought of that, I thought our relationship was fine”
The introduction continues, complaints and counter complaints and I am ducking and diving for safety.
Param: “Everybody speaks for him/her self, please dont coach each other”
Peace is restored.
Wife: “I have to look after work and home and I dont get any support from anyone and this boy (looks slant eyed at bolu, who is now happily scribbling on the wall).”
Husband: “My son never listens to me”
The introduction continues, peace, blossoms into a space of responsibility.
Wife: “I am inventing the possiblity of enthusiasm.”
Wife rushes and hugs the son, who is surprised by this show of emotion.
Husband: “I am inventing the possibility of being inspiring”
Husband: “Bolu, show uncle how nicely you put away your books!”
Bolu enthusiastically cleans up the mess he has created. Husband hugs the wife and child.
Life is moving again.
The introduction ends. I am touched, moved, and inspired. The wife has registered for the Landmark forum.
Wife: “You really did some magic today.”
I get into the car and leave.
“You are awesome man!”
“Really, you know maybe I am awesome”
“But your life sucks!”
“I am awesome, I will deal with it, as I always do”
Switch down to 3rd gear, pump the accelerator and feel the turbo bump me.